Monday, January 22, 2007

Love wrapped in peanut butter

I've been on a three day marathon of tending two small children who sound rather like the love children of Marlon Brando and an irate Harbor Seal. That, of course is because of the cold...not because of me so sheddup anyone who wants to rag on my bowling alley waitress contralto. On the other hand, they behaved more like chimpanzees on crack. But of course, when Mother Nature blankets the earth in the softest prettiest six or so inches of fluffy beautiful snow, and the air is cool enough to sustain it, and warm enough to make it sticky enough for the first perfect snowball of the year, there is nothing a little boy wants to hear more than, "I'm sorry baby, you're sick, you have to stay inside." It is a hideous guilt wracking experience for a mother to utter those words, and guilt, most of you know, causes a mother to lose her stinkin' mind.
Thomas' Halloween Adventures Marathon - Round Number 1:
Mom, Mom! (cough, cough) Look there's Terrence!
Who?
Terrance, the tractor! Oh you missed it, back it up.
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Who wants muffins? Mommy made banana nut muffins!
I hate banana nut muffins. Can I have a peanut butter sandwich?
For breakfast?
(cough, cough) Yeah, can we go outside and build a snowman today?
OK, PBJ, on toast, maybe?
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Mom? Can I make a mailbox?
For what?
Uh...so you can write me letters when I'm at Dad's house?
Mommy? It's TERRENCE! LOOK NOW!
Uh...yeah OK...uh what do you want to use for this mailbox?
Mommy...LOOOK NOW.
I was thinking we could cut a hole in that laundry basket and...
WHAT?
You missed it AGAIN! Back it up, PLEASE!
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(Out of tape out of glue, have made two cardboard mailboxes, covered them in construction paper and stickers and hung them carefully on the wall, written several thousand love notes with and for each of the boys and stuffed them full several times. We've made penguins out of their traced hand prints. There are scraps of paper on every square inch of my living room, and sippy cups stashed in places I'd never think of. One is snoring softly on my lap the other emerges from the bedroom in a television induced trance like state.)
Mom...
Yes dear? You OK?
Yeah.
Mom?
Yes, honey?
This place is a mess. You should pick up.
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Thomas' Halloween Adventures Marathon - a reprieve after round number 23: Instead? Wonder Pets....
Trilling gerbil: We must save de dowfinn!
Trilling duck: Yes! We must save de dowfinnnnnnn!
Dev: Cut the karaoke and save the stupid dolphin, already!
My son, ladies and gentlemen. MY son!
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Mommy, I've got mail!
Huh, yeah, cool baby.
Dear Elyas, Leave me alone. Your brother.
That wasn't very nice was it?
(Lip trembling) No.
I'm sorry.
Mommy? How do you spell stupidhead?
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Can I have another peanut butter jelly?
We're out of bread.
Oh. Can I have a granola bar?
They're gone too.
I'm STARVING!
You still have soup left from lunch.
Oh. Can we build a snowman today?
I could make pancakes, I guess...
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Thomas' Halloween (WHY HALLOWEEN? It's JANUARY) Adventures Marathon round 483:
Look Ly! It's Terrence!
Duh mom.
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Hey Mommy. We had a nice time at your house this weekend. Daddy says we have to go to bed now. Hey mommy, maybe tomorrow you can go to the grocery store? You know, get some more bread and granola bars? Mommy? Mommy?

Yes, I did.


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