Here, now.

If you hadn't noticed I'm making an effort to update my blog a little more often. I always wanted to be one of those happy "blog every day" girls but between you and I, even if I had something interesting to say every day, I just can't figure out how to do it when the boys are at home. Between working and parenting it's the best I can do to drop onto the sofa at 9 pm every evening...and while I often am sitting with the box on my lap at that time, actually saying something of value? Not likely. At that point it is really just napping with my eyes open.

Tuesday night was wonderful. Liz Gilbert was every bit as delightful, humorous and thought provoking in person as she is in her writing. I spent the entire speech thinking "Oh I've got to blog this part." But alas...I believe that would be a rip off of the really bad kind, because I would only be regurgitating her speech, and in bad form. But the long and the short of it was...life goes on. Liz, probably to the disappointment of many, didn't become a guru, blissfully in a state of elevated awareness following her journey. She, like all of us, continues her journey every day, good days and bad days, though I think she's probably more aware than she was prior to setting off for Italy. I think what I took away from it more than anything is that old Buddhist saying, one that I shared with my favorite five and six year-old kids in church a few weeks ago..."Be here now." Trying to live in a past no matter how glorious or embattled is fruitless...the past is written and it can not be undone. Trying to live in the future, well, it simply can not be reached. The only thing that can be controlled is now. And it is a pretty glorious thing.

Life around here hobbles on. Money is tight...as it is for most everyone. I'm baking more and going out less. I am spending my entire tax return on making up the difference on my hours that have been cut this quarter. I hope to put a tiny bit of it aside to help pay for tennis lessons for the boys this summer. We are visiting schools this coming week...we aren't entirely happy with the dynamic at the school the boys have been attending. We've narrowed it down to two (but honestly, I think I've already decided upon the school for Elyas). Dev will be attending one of two special ed programs next fall, provided we can get him past the wait lists. It is so sad to me that kids in need of special programming have to jump through these kinds of hoops.

I'm looking forward to spring, and trying to decide if I want to really try some kind of patio gardening this year. It is times like this that I really do wish I had my own home. But I do have a nice little patio out there, which I could just as well cover with plants. I can't spade up part of the yard, but I could, theoretically, do something, right? Anyone got a good book or three to share with me? I have to admit I'm clueless.

I suppose this is hardly a barn burner of an entry...but hey, I'm here!