Monday, October 15, 2007

A new perspective

So there is this interesting phenomena that takes place when you are one of two parents, doing their thing separately, instead of as a unit. The thing to which I refer is is the, well, the...oh darn, I hate to say it, because it is actually a really good thing...but it's the "Tattle syndrome." Oh I know you marrieds, your kids still tell each of you things that the other does. But when they know dad and mom aren't snuggling up at the end of the evening, I think they feel safer saying some basic truths that you might not hear otherwise. I'm in the car with the boys the other day and Elyas says something about the dog biting at them. Cranky mom, ever on the alert for something that "damn man" is doing wrong jumps on it. "He bites at you? Has he ever bit you? Does he bite at everyone?" Well, turns out it is mostly play and the dog getting over excited (still worries me) but the conversation leads to "and he jumped up on the baby and made her fall down and cry."

This was all Elyas. Dev, deep in thought murmurs, "Sometimes I dance to make her stop crying." As much as it annoys me that woman is in the house with my kids, I'm charmed by this. "That's nice babe."

"Her mom says when I'm sixteen and bring my girlfriend home she's gonna tell her all about my chicken dance."

It's really a normal tease, from adults to children, almost a right of passage. But anyone who really understands my kid knows better. You don't tease, Dev. Even when he takes it (which often he doesn't), it bruises him deeply. I could tell that this worried Dev.

"I guess adults don't always understand that stuff like that is what makes kids not want to bring their boyfriends and girlfriends home."

"Yeah, mom. I'm glad you don't say things like that."

I'm glad you are teaching me kiddo.

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