So life the last few days has been...surreal. We pass by each other, barely speaking...each planning a new life without the other. We speak cordially, but there is no talk. There is no support, but there is no need for permission either. My anger has faded into disappointment. My fear has turned suddenly into hope, not for us, but for me.
I had a long discussion with my small group at church about the word "sacred" and what it means to each of us. I shared with them a beautiful piece of wood I found on the ground while walking, just a few days before Devereaux was born. It had fallen off a tree and there is a round hole right in the center, where there had been a knot...and before that a branch...and before that a bud...it reminds me that at every ending, no matter how tragic it may seem there is a new beginning. It also reminds me that sometimes the most interesting part of anything, is sometimes that which you can't see. When I found that piece of wood, my life was changing drastically, I was a new home owner, soon to be a new mother and wife. And now I'm changing again, into something new. If that isn't sacred, I don't know what is. It's frightening, but exciting and beautiful.